Tim Pagel email@example.com
I'VE BEEN THINKING.
IT'S BEEN A tough struggle. It started out innocently enough.
I began to think at parties now and then - just to loosen up.
Inevitably, though, one thought led to another and soon I was
more than a social thinker.
I began to think alone - "to relax", I told myself - but I knew
it wasn't true. Thinking became more and more important to me.
Finally I was thinking all the time. That was when things began
to sour at home.
One evening I had turned off the TV and asked my wife about the
state of our beloved Teamsters Union. She spent the night at her
mother's. I began to think on the job. I knew thinking and employment
don't mix, but I couldn't stop myself. I began to avoid friends at
lunchtime so I could read about Harry Bridges and Cesar Chavez. I
would return to work dizzied and confused, asking, "What exactly is
it we are doing here?"
One day the boss called me in. He said, "Listen, I like you and it
hurts me to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem. If
you don't stop thinking on the job you'll have to find some other work."
This gave me a lot to think about. I came home early after my conversation
with the boss. "Honey, I confess, I've been thinking..." "I know you've
been thinking," she said, "and I want a divorce!" "But Honey, surely
it's not that serious." " It is serious," she said, lower lip aquiver.
"You think as much as college professors and college professors don't
make any money, so if you keep on thinking, we won't have any money!"
"That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently. She exploded in tears
of rage and frustration, but I was in no mood to deal with the emotional
drama. "I'm going to the library," I snarled as I stomped out the door.
I headed for the library, in the mood for some Mother Jones. I roared into
the parking lot with NPR on the radio and ran up to the big glass doors.
They didn't open. The library was closed.
To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that
night. Leaning on the unfeeling glass, whimpering for an answer, a poster
caught my eye; "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?" it asked.
You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinkers
Anonymous poster. Which is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker.
I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a non-educational
video; last week it was "Porky's". Then we share experiences about how
we avoided thinking since the last meeting. I still have my job, and things
are a lot better at home. Life just seemed... easier, somehow, as soon
as I stopped thinking. I think the road to recovery is nearly complete for
me. Today I made the final step, I decided to vote for Jim Hoffa Jr.